Truly, I’m enjoying the snow. It’s magical and beautiful and makes me happy. Walking in the silent snowflakes under misty streetlights is mysterious and a time to connect with the essence of Nature. Since I’ve been so stuck lately, this has been a perfect time to cocoon and hibernate and spend time with myself.
I’m using this time for me: sleeping when I need to, eating what I want when I want, reading or not, writing or not, watching TV or not, talking to others or not. I’m finding a bit more time to meditate each day. (Thanks again, L Gail Ludwig for Shores of Earth and Spirit’s Nutshell Meditation “Forgive”.) I’m appreciating the Snow Goddess (surely there is one!) I’m clearing out some clutter–sorting and filing last year’s stuff to make way for the new. Smudging. Making mango jam and cupcakes. And slowly but surely I’m finding my way back to myself. This silent, snowy solitude has created a place to hide and heal, to lick the wounds of life and freeze away the pain of disappointments. A poetess I know wrote and posted,
“Just when I needed it
snow came
blanketed homes
and the surrounding streets
with a light-infused calmness
noises vanished
I stopped rushing
darkness disappeared.”
Thank you, Lilija Valis. This is exactly right for me. Since I’ve stopped rushing, I am more aware of Spirit and Self again, and for the first time in a long time I feel more hopeful that my connectivity and creativity are not lost. They’re still there, waiting. They’re just in hibernation. And so I can share part of my own writing from today,
“As the snow melts
so will my indifference,
and, stronger now from living on this island of aloneness
I will step out into the warm wind,
holding my face to the sun.”
I’ve still got a way to go, but I know my feet are starting on the path once more. Perhaps it’s the Feast Day of Aphrodite on February 6–nothing wrong with a little self-love, is there? Or maybe it’s the thoughts of Spring, which surely is hiding, waiting to pop up in a few short weeks. Whatever. It’s all okay.
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